Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Reading Rainbow

I have been very scared ever since I learned of the arrival of Sam. Scared that I would lose my individuality and slump into motherdom, have to give up a piece of myself and that my passion for design and creativity would have to take a backseat to motherhood. Scared I would have to turn in my skinny jeans in for Mom jeans and stop dying my hair funky colors.

I don't have many friends, by my own choice. I just can't seem to find people that understand me and my passions, the way I live and love. (Thank God for Paul and thank God he understands me, sometimes I think he may be the only one. And that quite frankly is all I need.) The friends I do have I greatly treasure but even they don't get me, don't get why I wouldn't just want to give up all my dreams to be a mom. It is frustrating and lonely and I've given up trying to explain. The past four months have been the the best in my life and I find that I am more inspired than ever before. They have also been some of the hardest days, days that I question everything I do. Wondering if it is the best for Sam, Paul and me. I have discovered the days that I am working toward my goals I'm a better mom than days I'm not. I know I have a passion and I know that if I give it up I will not be the best mother I can be for Sam or the best wife I can be for Paul.



When I recently stumbled upon this blog I felt like I found someone just like me. This girl rocks and is an inspiration to me. I just finished reading her book, her dream, the one she thought she might have to give up or simply lose sight of when she became a mom. She is hilarious, passionate and real. She is another inspiration to me that I don't have to become the stereotypical mom with no life other than her children to be the best mom. I may have spit up in my hair and a pacifier stuck in my front pocket, but the spit up will be in my signature every changing hair and the pacifier will be stuck in the front pocket of my skinny jeans(when they fit again). Thanks Rebecca.






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