Things I'll never do (part onesie):

Join a "Mommy Boot Camp." For those of you that don't know what this little gem is, it is a gathering of Mommies who come together via homemade, computer-generated signs with little tear-off tags to do a little "stroller workout." This entails the mommy to put on something that is most likely too tight for her post partum bod(unless she ordered the ever popular tummy tuck as a side dish for her childbirth experience)and throw the ole kiddo in the stroller right about nap time to head out in the sweltering mid afternoon heat and humidity. Meandering all throughout cookie-cutter master planned neighborhoods of sunny south Florida, Mommy walks the stroller around stopping every here and there to do a few squats in the middle of the road or a few stroller spins on the lawn. This gives the mommies time to gossip about Mrs. So-and-So's Lily Pulitzer fashion faux pax at little Emma's 1st birthday spectacular, complain about the rising gas prices and brag about the the family's new super XXXXXL SUV that will surely finally give their 2 toddlers enough room to ride comfortably. You may be asking yourself what is so boot camp about all this? Are the mommies in fact wearing boots? Doing military style push ups? Crawling on their recently shrunken bellies under camouflage netting? Me thinks not. When I reach for a real butt-kicking workout I do not reach for my stroller. While I love a nice long walk with my little Punksy I do not consider this, coupled with a few toe-touches and a pirouette a baby fat buster. God knows I've got a few lb's to go and we all(well except for the lucky "insta-skinny" moms that I hate) have different weight loss styles, I will rebel against this mommylicious stroller regimen till the day I die, even if I am 400lbs by then. This is where I shout out to my Crossfit homies and pledge my undying love. When the stroller mamas want to stroll on in and do a WOD with us at Sonz I will gladly pirouette in a pool of my own hard earned sweat at the end.

e