So, I’ve been going to yoga again. Don’t be fooled I am no yoga sensei (or whatever they call it), I just went a time or two B.S. (Before Sam). With all the nonsense going on in the world today and all the stresses and pressures of life, selling houses, keeping these houses spotless, trying to find a perfect job that allows me to shine creatively, being a perfect wife, raising a perfect child, and looking lovely and fit while doing it all, I’ve become a little overwhelmed. Go figure. I try, oh how I try, to sit down during the day when the boy is sleeping and relax, reflect, take a few deep breaths, etc. But, I have the unfortunate problem of never being able to relax my mind. Hell, I can’t even read a magazine to relax anymore. It just spawns a hundred ideas, then my brain takes off, and next thing you know I’m at Home Depot buying supplies to build a new bed or put up a lean-to garage so someone will buy this damn HOUSE! So I’ve found that yoga is the closest I get to clearing my mind, but not without some help.
I find that the only way I can fully unplug is to think about a certain place. Call it a “happy place” if you are so inclined. That’s a little too squishy for me, so I’ll call it my “perfect place.” This is a place I found when I was in college, when the stresses of life were high, like now, or so it seemed. I was going to school in Bellingham, Washington, which is an amazing town, in which you can stand in one point and turn around to see snow capped mountains and orcas jumping in the bay, you can be hiking in the lush green forests one hour and digging clams on the shore the next, or join a drum circle! More about that later….
After a 15 minute drive from campus I would pull out into the small gravel parking area and I would make my way to the place, slowly, weaving and winding on moss covered pathways and over small broken foot bridges, through the dense mushroom covered fallen trees. I would emerge into the sun at the lakes edge and creep through some bushes to my spot. A few huge fallen trees about eight feet in circumference who’s trunks were sticking out of the water just enough provided an ideal place for lounging. I would sit down or stand up and just breathe, and listen to the water lap the lakeshore. It seemed it was just what I needed to forget for a moment what was happening in my life. And, inevitably when I left, I left a little stronger, a little more aware of the things that were important, a lot refreshed and ready to reface the world.
I find that the only way I can fully unplug is to think about a certain place. Call it a “happy place” if you are so inclined. That’s a little too squishy for me, so I’ll call it my “perfect place.” This is a place I found when I was in college, when the stresses of life were high, like now, or so it seemed. I was going to school in Bellingham, Washington, which is an amazing town, in which you can stand in one point and turn around to see snow capped mountains and orcas jumping in the bay, you can be hiking in the lush green forests one hour and digging clams on the shore the next, or join a drum circle! More about that later….
After a 15 minute drive from campus I would pull out into the small gravel parking area and I would make my way to the place, slowly, weaving and winding on moss covered pathways and over small broken foot bridges, through the dense mushroom covered fallen trees. I would emerge into the sun at the lakes edge and creep through some bushes to my spot. A few huge fallen trees about eight feet in circumference who’s trunks were sticking out of the water just enough provided an ideal place for lounging. I would sit down or stand up and just breathe, and listen to the water lap the lakeshore. It seemed it was just what I needed to forget for a moment what was happening in my life. And, inevitably when I left, I left a little stronger, a little more aware of the things that were important, a lot refreshed and ready to reface the world.
The View
I feel about this retreat like I feel about 90 minutes worth of yoga. I arrive wound tightly and as I make my way to the “place” I begin to unfold until I finally reach my perfect place. After I’ve bathed in the peace and beauty and reset my priorities, I depart more peacefully.
Along the path.The first time I took Paul home, I took him to my spot, and I plan on taking Sam there someday, too. I hope that Paul does have and wish that Sam will have a place like this to recharge. I don’t have a place like this now, though I hope to find one again soon. Until then I’ll rely on yoga and visions of my perfect place.
September 2004
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