Just another day in the parent "hood"

Just wanted to walk you through a day with an 11 month old..... for Sam to read one day and thank us and for us to look back on and laugh.

6am Crowing from the next room. Sounds of pacifiers clanking along crib rails and eventually dropping to the floor like a inmate trying to lasso the jailers keys to bust out.

7am Quiet moments while Paul and Sam go for their morning run. I've decided to pass on the brisk morning jog today and instead lay in bed and read a few more chapters of my nerd book, Twilight.

8am Greet the boys from the patio, entice them in for some waffles that I almost made (until I realized we were out of milk). Make breakfast for Sam and send Stinky up to shower.

9am Round up a morning bottle, a couple of lattes and a pumpkin scone with our friends at Starbucks.

10am A few more quiet moments on my email, work, and back and forth email banter with Paul about the latest CNN headlines and evening plans.

12pm Can't stay away today, we head down to meet Paul for lunch and get Sam some new clothes, he's got scoop-neck in his onesies again.

1pm Barely duck out of the way to miss Sam's projectile vomit, gross out the adjacent tables and abruptly end our family lunch.

1:15pm whisk vomit covered child to the hot car, strip him down, throw away his clothes and head to Tarjay (now we really need new clothes) This time, thankfully we have a backup onesie.

2pm Reluctantly head into Target with my child in just his "underwear," hoping no one sees me toting my kid around with no pants on. Must buy pants.

2:30pm Sam decides to do his business for the day in the middle of our visit to the store, I decide that I will finish up, not waste a trip to target and then bust a move to the checkout line wafting baby freshness all around.

2:31pm Sam starts crying, I pick him up out of the cart and realize that I have poo-ooo-ewwwwwww running down my arm, oozing out of Sam's back-up onesie and I have left the diaper bag in the car, as usual, I will not be caught carrying such a utilitarian objet.

2:32pm abandon cart, dash for car

2:33pm put child down on hot leather car seats (again), strip him naked and use an entire 150 pack of wipes to clean myself, the car and the baby. Put Sam in the car seat with nothing but a diaper on and whisk him home for his afternoon nap.

3:00 Call Paul to relay my second unfortunate "goo" situation of the day. He offers to go on a reconnaissance mission, recover my abandoned cart and purchase my items, thus saving me another trip to the now permanently jinxed Target. What a guy!



4:00pm I hear Paul screeching from upstairs, rush up to see Paul, hands in the air dripping in pee-pee and Sam laying on the changing table laughing.

Ah good times.