Sunday, January 11, 2009

Being Dad

I have worn several hats and donned several robes. I have tried my hand at various crafts and pursuits. I have 'escaped' Alcatraz. I have run the 5 burroughs of New York City in a single morning. I have loved and continue to love. I wrote stories and drew pictures. I have saved a life. I have climbed a mountain. I have built a shopping center. I have been more successful in some ventures than in others, and each, in turn, has brought a sense of accomplishment and pride that varies by degrees. But I do not feel as accomplished or satisfied in any of these roles or in any of these pursuits as I do in the role of dad or in the pursuit of fatherhood.

I could have been, was or could still someday become an artist or writer or psychologist or restaurant manager. I choose to be a commercial real estate developer. For now. I swim, cycle and run. I like to rock climb and climb mountains and look down on people from great heights, but am stuck in the flattest place in the Western Hemisphere. I truly feel that I am a jack of all trades though master of none. I feel as though I was an 'okay' artist, am 'just an okay' writer, was 'just an okay' swimmer and triathlete and 'just an okay' runner, and I know with these twigs for arms I would be 'just an okay' rock climber, as well.

I won't go so far as to say that I feel I failed as a writer and failed in business. Though it feels like that somedays. That all being said, I think I am a pretty good at being 'Dad'. Not just a dad or any dad, but being Sam's Dad. I am not perfect. I don't really know what I'm doing most of the time. But I like it. After a frustrating day at the office (I very literally have not had a deal work in my favor in over 2 years...Deziel, no. Verizon, no. Goddard, no. Burger King, Wendy's, Taco Bell, Publix, no no no no. Anyone else would've thrown in the towel long ago. I must truly be a glutton for punishment), the only thing that keeps me going is being Hewie and Dad and knowing these people count on me. I just wish being Dad paid better so I could quit! :)

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