Thursday, March 4, 2010

Reflections | Goodbye no. 1

For those of you that have not heard, Paul has accepted a job with the Foreign Service. There is a lot to learn, much of which I don't yet know and much to share. For now, here are a few things I do know:

In just two short weeks we will be met by a moving company, who will kindly pack 30 + 37 + 2 + .2 years of our lives in to one large truck. It will then drive northward. Embarking just one day later, the Hanna Dream Team will load up our most valuable of possessions; babies, shoes, matchbox cars, stuffed bunny rabbits, pictures of birds, mobiles of delicate empty white paper frames, waiting to be filled with snapshots from our dreams. We too will drive north.

We will follow along the same road I drove into Florida on, just shy of ten years ago. And just like I arrived, in a cold lonely truck, bound for an unfamiliar place, I will leave. Only my possessions are heaps more bountiful and precious on my exit. I arrived here just my dreams, a notebook of ideas and a thirst for adventure. I leave with all these things and pockets filled with fairy tales.

I will not say that the adventure was always good, in fact it started out quite roughly, I had lost my way, wind blown in what I thought sure was the wrong direction. I'd wake up after storms with my sails quite tattered and wondered if I'd ever find my way. Then I did what I always do, what I was taught to do, 'press on'. I landed a great job in a little beach side restaurant, Kee Grill. I gained a few friends. I lost a few friends. I moved out on my own. I regained sight of my dreams, I took a chance on my gifts and my passion, I enrolled in college over an hours drive from home. I excelled on few hours of sleep, a lot of crummy tips and an accommodating boss. I worked late nights, and woke up just hours later for a 5am commute to class, I wondered how I'd ever make it through to graduation....

Then on a perfectly normal, perfectly rainy day at work, something happened. Someone sent me a gift. Wrapped in a hooded orange pullover, with little round specs, and hiking boots. Paul arrived. His first day on the job. My last day alone.

The rest as they say, 'is history'. A tale you all know. A diploma, a wedding, a house and babies. Just the way I had always imagined it. Perfect and dreamlike. But, now for the first time in 10 years I celebrate the road. From the time I arrived here on September 10th ,2001 I clawed tirelessly at the humid air and sweltering asphalt to escape. Even once I met Paul, my partner in crime, we plotted together our adventures beyond Florida. Desperate to see the past 10 years, the people, the bulging barometer blurred by dust and distance in the rear view mirror.

But, today I have begun to say the first of many goodbyes and through tears, to many friends, I will secretly wish that I'd soaked it all in a little more, appreciated the journey, not so fixed on the destination. Many people I've spent time with during my stay have gone in different directions. I am not a fool to realize that they were all meaningful parts of my time here.

. . .

Today I said goodbye to my mom-group. A group I leave as a part of the leadership team, that I swore I'd never join. I room filled with ladies that I thought I'd never have anything in common with. Walls torn down, hands held, prayers prayed, tears shed, lessons learned, a whole lot of laughter, spit up stained shirts and broken bread, they wished me well. I cried in my cake, and hugged them farewell. At last I realize I am a part of something, or was I all along....

elise

1 comment:

Digger said...

Welcome to the Foreign Service. I have added a link to your blog to my blogroll of FS blogs at http://lifeafterjerusalem.blogspot.com