Musings on Fatherhood on Father's Day Eve

I should be studying Portuguese.

But Sam went to bed 15 minutes ago (it's already 9:30). I put him to bed no less than 4 times. He didn't want to go to bed so badly he let me read my Portuguese compositions to him (this from the kid who screams, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" if I say one word of Portuguese). About a year ago, I would sit on the floor in Sam's room, leaning against his crib, my legs outstretched and Sam in between them, leaning against my chest in the dark. As he fell asleep this way, I would run my fingers through his hair. If I stopped, he would, eyes closed, find my hand and put it on top of his head. I am thankful that Sam isn't too old for me to do this still.

What do I want to say about being a dad?

This afternoon, Sam, Pete and I went to Target in search of a high chair for Pete. I found bright green t-shirts for all of us with the Brazilian flag on them (and we all shouted, "GOL!" when we found them, much to Pete's delight), but no high chair. Sam was extremely helpful clothes shopping. He would bring me t-shirts on hangers for my review. Oftentimes, he brought me multiple shirts of the same design and same size. He brought me a sleeveless muscle shirt and overalls. I would have to tell them that I didn't think mom would approve. I hope she likes the things I did pick out for them. I think it might very well be the first time I bought clothes for them. I don't know where Sam put the shirts we didn't buy. I apologize to the women and men working the infants and toddlers dept. at Target.

Of course, we couldn't get out of the store without lingering in the toy dept. Conveniently the toy dept. is centrally located directly adjacent to every other dept. in the store. I bought Sam a click-block-not-quite-Lego-not-quite-Playmobil bulldozer that ended up being a total piece of crap. When we got it home and put it together, the shovel on the bulldozer didn't work and Sam started balling. I felt so bad for him because I knew how excited he was about his new bulldozer and there was no reason that the shovel shouldn't have moved. He even made me get down the Quarry (an invention of Elise's...it's actually quite ingenious if not a little messy. The Quarry is a glass cake pan filled with dry beans. Sam drives his bulldozers and dump trucks through it scattering dried beans everywhere. But the Quarry does have the power to occupy him for literally hours on end. It's just a pain in the ass to clean up).

I don't have any words of wisdom or deep revelations on what it is to be a dad. I will confess that the absolute hardest part about being a dad is...

...cutting their fingernails! They're so tiny and I can't see worth a damn anyway!