We all arrived at this waiting place with the same sort of dreams. Different as we all are, I have begun for once to find people that are more like me than not in this foreign service-ness. This makes the task of hugging goodbye and wishing well quite bittersweet. Instead of saying 'goodbye' and hoping my friends will find and fulfill their dreams along the road, I know they already have and are just waiting for them to begin.
Making friends proves to be challenging when one is gearing up to leave the country in just a few months. Making friends proves to be hard anywhere...for me. I have never been one to warm up to people quickly and lead a sort of guarded existence that my closest friends will tell you is a wall not easily broken down. Why? I couldn't tell you, but it seems to work for me. I wouldn't consider myself shy, I just require a level of trust and handful of time to claim just the right friends for my treasured collection instead of hoarding a sorted collection of maybes.
While it seems that I am most attracted to Paul in ways, because he is quite my opposite. I seem to hold girlfriends dear who are just like me. To better understand myself, I suppose. And much like the arrival of Paul into my life, these relationships don't require much time at all.
Which brings me to today....
I said goodbye to one of my newest and dearest friends in DC this morning at our favorite coffee house. The first person that began to make me feel like I was going to be ok here and that I was, in fact, strong enough to survive this journey as a mom and as a wife and as an artist. We shared many a coffee at our haven for childless work mornings. Dueling laptops, batteries faintly dying while we (motivated by nothing more than guilt) stopped to glance at their illuminated screens for a moment while continuing our conversation.
I'll keep hanging at our beloved NSS but, I must admit the bitter sweetness of it all is kind of weighing heavily on the 'bitter' this afternoon.
Bon Voyage my friend, I hope to spend many an evening with you and a glass of wine in the crisp northwest air and coffee at the loveliest of coffee joints in the future and along the many crossed paths I hope we find.