Tomorrow

Tomorrow when we wake up life will look a little different. Our morning will be a little more rushed. Choosing an outfit for the day will be a little less difficult. Breakfast will be a little more important. We will all load in the car together as a family and quietly wind together into the morning sun through the streets of Brasilia.

Tomorrow we will shed rivers of tears. Peter will be sad. I will be sad. Paul will no doubt be sad.

Tomorrow I will entrust a little bit more of the world to the care of my sweet little boy and I'll share a little bit more of my little boy with the world.

Tomorrow when we wake up we'll be the parents of a preschooler.

Tomorrow Sam will be a preschooler.

Tomorrow I'll pack my first school lunch, a day I've looked forward to my whole life. I'll label all Sam's things and place them neatly with his lunch, sippy cup of milk and a treat in his little puppy dog backpack for snack-time.

Tomorrow hand-in-hand Peter, Paul and I, with tears streaming down our faces will walk our proud little curly haired boy into his first day of school and without him we'll walk out. We'll pull ourselves together and be confident in the fact that Sam is ready for more, a time that comes in every mans life. Then we'll confidently approach a few mornings of our week in a different way than we have grown accustomed over the past three years and it won't be easy at first, but then it will all become normal, as it always does.

Tomorrow I will be early to pick him up. I won't be able to help it.

I've been through this all before, or so it feels. I haven't felt like this since we drove my big brother Dan to his first day of University. Dropped him by the door of his new dormatory and waved goodbye, through rivers of tears, through a windshield of cold Northwest rain as I held tight to my Mom and Dave.

We've been through this all before, but still I haven't felt like this since I accompanied Dave on a summer's adventure to a tiny and damp, one room cabin in Montauk, NY. Where with Paul's hand in mine we waved goodbye through rain streaks smearing our windshield, as tears poured down my cheeks.

Both times, both experiences were simply the next step. The next stepping stone on the path of life. Sam could not be more ready. I am just not quite sure if we are.

All my love and luck tomorrow sweet angel boy. We know you will win the hearts of teachers and friends tomorrow and everyday and we know that you're kindness and intelligence will serve as your compass when we can't be near. We love you Puppy.