Friday, May 20, 2011

Just in Case

So the freaks are at it again, or so we think. Rumor has it that today will be our last day on Earth, or not, depending on your "score." I should hope I'd be 'swept up' or 'beamed up' or more comfortingly 'gently picked up and cradled' perhaps in the arms of someone that would feel like being scooped up in the arms of your mom.

Paul swears (and is usually right) that these things make big news now due our obsession with "media," "constant updates," and "instant gratificiation" that play into our "addiction to rushes of adrenaline and endorphins that are fed by checking our Facebook pages and Twitter feeds a thousand times daily." Or something to that effect. And I want him to be right, because Paul's right makes me feel at ease. But, amidst my emersion in my crazy, happy, not so perfectly perfect life, I've had time I wonder. Could this freak be right?

I want to be terrified, but I'm not. We've spent this week doing what we always do the best we can. When the only fear you harbor is the fear of regret, you plant all your seeds each day that the sun comes up. I've spent days playing in the sand with my boys and laughing with my friend. I've laid awake at night with Paul talking about life and fallen asleep holding hands. I've spent less time in the kitchen and more time with my family after dinner, I've held my boys a little too long after they (should have fallen asleep) and after they have. I've run miles gulping deep breaths of fresh air, feeling the hot sun on my shoulders and tasting the cooling scent of eucalyptus in the breeze. I've driven with my windows down and my music up. I've brushed off the things that just don't matter. I caved to an unsually clingy Sam who just couldn't bear to be separated from Peter and I today and so we reloaded his backpack and walked right back out of preschool, all together, hand in hand, to play, to see Dad at work, to eat lunch together at McDonalds.

I've thought a lot about our changing world this week especially as I read Sam page upon page of dinosaur facts, nothing ever really stays the same, but instead makes way for something even better. And either way freaks be right or freaks be wrong, I am thankful for their speculations. They make us think, they make us reprioratize and throw all we've got into it each day and that's all we can be sure of, today.

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