The Waiting Place (Part Two)

A few weeks ago, I wrote about a dreadful spot in our lives in which we had arrived, the Waiting Place. Much to our chagrin….we are still there.

Though we are still waiting, the painful slog of inactivity has been replaced by the gleefully welcome signs of motion. There is movement. Like wedges melting off a glacier, activity is sloughing away from a massive mountain of inactivity. By way of example, our bid list arrived, and Elise and I dug in, pouring through post reports and cultivating the informed and not-so-informed opinions of friends and family. We sat at the dining room table, faces encapsulated in the digital gloaming of our respective laptop screens, swapping the names of exotic destinations as though playing ‘Go Fish’. “Kathmandu?” “Guangzhou?” “Yaounde?” Flippantly throwing about the names of places most would never fathom visiting, we will get to call one home. We have a habit of focusing on the less desirable places we could go which spur worry and dread and forget about the wonderful places where we will more likely end up. Such is human nature, I guess.

As always Sam and Pete force us to remain in the present. Peter is in the incipient stages of potty-training, sporting Thomas the Tank Engine underwear like Tom Cruise on the set of ‘Risky Business’. We set the timer on the microwave oven to 35 minute intervals, then sprint to the only bathroom with a step stool (we don’t dare move the step stool to a more centrally-located bathroom; I would hate to throw off his mojo) to fazer xi-xi. He is not content with the tiny whities we haphazardly pull from the bin of underwear in his wardrobe. He insists on seeing what’s available for himself, then peruses the selection of handed-down briefs with the same meticulousness one might use to buy a car or a house. “Emily?” he will ask me, one of Thomas’ Friends.

“No…we have Thomas, Percy or Gordon.”

“Rosie?”

“How ‘bout Cookie Monster?”

He shakes his head.

The arrival of packages is still a cause for celebration. Sam’s new car seat came yesterday, and I face another weekend, tackling the unenviable task of trying to fit three car seats abreast in the back of a 2011 Subaru Outback. Wish me luck. Two weekends ago, I ran a half-marathon. That same afternoon, I spent two hours wrestling car seats in and out of the back seat, trying to fit three across and allow both doors to close. I needn’t tell you which was the more exhausting endeavor.

I finally bought same the book ‘Dinotopia’. I found it on eBay for $1. The cover price is 30 times that. I was quite proud of myself. It is the story of a fictitious island where dinosaurs live in harmony with their human caretakers. It is told in such a realistic, convincing style that I am half-worried that Sam may mistake it for fact. Nevertheless, I am happy to read it to him, as I am as fascinated as he is by the concept. Human mothers can employ dinosaur nannies that strap the babies to pouches slung across their finned spines. “Do you think we should get a dinosaur nanny to take care of our new baby?” Thankfully, Sam wasn’t too keen on this idea.

And each day that passes means our baby girl that is stirring….Nay…! She hardly stirs. Let’s try that again…our baby girl that is trying to judo chop her way out of Elise’s stomach is adding kilos. One day when we least expect it—maybe, today—she will run out of room, and there will be no more waiting. Days passed in anxious anticipation will be distant memories. There have been moments of unease, when that part of the unknown that is not thrilling or exciting but exudes a sickly pall creeps in. Will we be able to handle three kids? Can we even handle two? Will we go to Juarez? How will we get food on the table? Will she sleep? Will we ever be normal again? The lack of movement, the waiting encouraged this line of self-doubt.

I tend to forget

With Elise, we can do anything.

And parents less-capable and less in love than us have succeeded.

We’ll be just fine.

On Sunday we found giant red pillows, rode a bicycle train, jumped in our pool, took naps and had movie night.

Who knows what next Sunday will bring?