We may be far from home or close to home or something. What? I don't know at all anymore, but we aren't quite at home because we aren't all together, but when we were, last, we were in India. To say we are missing this guy would be a lie, we are aching for him.
Absence makes the heart grow absolutely wild with fondness.
I didn't grow up here in Washington with Paul, but it doesn't feel at all right to be here without him. My best memories here have faded and been replaced with only memories I've made here on visits home since we met ten years ago. The lines that once lived between my days here before Paul and my days here after Paul have all blurred, and it feels like we've grown up more here together than we have apart.
We are reveling in all the things we love about the USA, but I'd sweat it out on dirty streets and eat dosas all day long if it meant I'd be close to him.
I'm know unequivocally, the kids would agree.
Last night Peter looked at my dad after dinner and smiled, he waited for a long minute, staring at him and said,
"When I smile at my dad's eyes, they smile back to me."
I don't at all think my dad, who has been bravely playing the very important male influence in their days for the past two weeks, failed to smile back at him, but instead Peter voiced the very bonds that I've never quite heard anyone put into words, that little father-son twinkling magic that he discovered was missing. When they aren't quite themselves here I can only speculate that it is him they are missing, but thanks to little bits of text Peter speaks aloud from the magical plays within his mind, truth and beauty are spoken that I could never imagine.
A few magical moments from the last three months that returned with my latest film lab order this week.
Contax 645 // Kodak Portra 400 // The FIND Lab