Puke-e-man

We vied for who would get to post this. That is how good it is.....err how bad. I got here first so I'll tell my side. We are on our way to Target, our baby is in his rear-facing car seat and starts fussing. No biggie, he's never really liked that confining seat anyway. We arrive a few minutes later, get out of the car and open the rear door to reveal Sam in his car seat covered...excuse me !!COVERED!! in vomit (this includes my thank-God-I-have leather-not-fabric seats and everything around them). Vomit a-la-afternoon lunch of carrots and green beans. Lovely. Initially, we decide to go straight home, then we decide that the last thing we want to do is have to leave the lovely Tarjay, go home and then come back. Hell, Paul hates Target and had to be bribed with their stale popcorn to come in the first place. So we huddle mid-parking lot, and come up with a plan.

The plan: We break in to teams. Team A = Team Mom, Team B = Team Dad and Sam. Team B heads directly (concealed under a blanket as to not draw attention to our disgustingly vomit-covered child) to the family restroom**. Team A heads directly to the baby department because during the aforementioned huddle we discovered that our always proudly "well-stocked diaper bag" is not so well-stocked at the time and we have no change of clothes for Sam. And while this is the Target of the Palm Beaches, it is not exempt from the same interesting crowds that any superstore of its kind attracts. You know, no one would have batted an eye at our baby chilling around in his Pampers. I, however, was not going to sink to such levels. Babies have pride, too.

Knowing full well that the husband is in the restroom cleaning vomit from all of the crevasses of our baby and car seat, Team A is still concerned with the fashion of the emergency outfit that I am about to pull together. So, I hurriedly design a Target ensemble for my boy, run to the register and on to the family restroom. There I find Paul knee deep in puke-covered paper towels, dry-heaving and Sam laughing at him while kicking around on the bacteria-covered baby changing station. We all have a good laugh, return the spot-cleaned car seat to the car to "dry" for a bit and enjoy stale popcorn and the "wildlife."

I know this is not the last time this will happen to us and I doubt the quantity or quality of theses baby substances get any better with their age. Now I know a well-stocked diaper bag also needs rubber gloves, a mop and haz-mat suit!

**I always wondered for what reason a family would all need to go to the bathroom together, this was the day I figured it out. Thank you to the inventor of the Family restroom. Gold star for you. Loving you.