Getting to know the neighbors

So begins the dreams of a hormonal pregnant woman. Some women dream about 'shacking up' with celebrities, I am privileged enough (or demented enough) to have the pleasure of dreaming about my neighbors.


Mind you we live in Florida where neighbors don't really say 'hi' to each other let alone bring over a basket of fresh baked goods when you move in. So, we don't really know our neighbors. In fact, we hardly know their names, we refer to them as:


Deeded: a man who was adamant about no one parking in his 'deeded space' when our parking was still assigned

Mrs. Deeded: self explanatory

Lexus Guy: drives a Lexus

Mrs. Lexus Guy: again

S.B.: Shit Bag, for reasons to plentiful to list

Skittish Cat Lady: Walks around confidently everywhere until someone says 'hello' then she skitters off like a stray cat oh and she reminds us of Paul's crazy ex-cat.

Limo Guy: husband to Cat Lady, drives a limo

Republican Lady: election signage :) also owns "Republican Dog"


This is just a smattering of our neighbors, I shudder to think what they may call us, or worse what they may dream about us?


Now that you have an idea of the tight-knit community we live in, you can fully enjoy the comedy that surrounds two neighbors that I have had 'relations' with in my pregnancy dreams (and only, dear God, in my pregnancy dreams)


Pregnancy #1: S.B. Mind you this is our most immediate neighbor and worst of the bunch. It took me months to get over that one. In REM Sleep I was fighting off many of the other lady suitors that frequent his home, I however was not wearing an asymetrical, tropical print, spandex dress with white stripper heels. Or was I?


Pregnancy #2: Skittish Cat Lady & Limo Guys grown son who still lives at home and is a frightful mix of the two of them. I encountered him in dream land at the lunch table at my high school cafeteria. We chatted over tater tots and pre-calculus, then sadly he left me for his student exchange to Japan. We promised to write.


When will it be my turn for Anderson Cooper in dream land? Hm?