"Do you want me to sing you a song?" I asked.
She nodded. I whispered quietly across the covers.
When I was done, Clementine threw the covers off her and raced for the bathroom where she vomited.
Shortly after our return to Sri Lanka, Clementine complained of near constant stomach aches. We couldn't really figure out what was bothering her.
She said she was worried and nervous. Had the stress of the pandemic finally wore her down?
Elise and I played dolls with her, read her stories, cooked with her in the kitchen. She was better when she was engaged. We told her she was healthy and safe. That we wouldn't let anything happen to her. But the stomach aches wouldn't go away.
We've been back in Sri Lanka a little over three weeks now. It's nice to be home, but the summer days are long and perhaps a little boring.
I'm quick to acknowledge the grass is not always greener, but in this instance, I'd be lying if maybe we wouldn't have been a little better off extending our summer sojourn to the States. Though the lockdown has lifted, we still can't venture outside of Colombo due to travel restrictions, and there really isn't all that much to do here besides go to the pool which the kids have done pretty much every single day since we've been back.
Our trip back to the States was meant to restore. We were supposed to return rested. And we were. We had created memories we could draw upon, pull energy from, a safe place in our heads to go back to when our lives in Sri Lanka became hectic again. But how long would the aura last? Is it already fading? I stand in the kitchen in the early morning. The sky just beginning to lighten to a dark, mournful purple and conjure the psithurism in my head. I can hear the leaves on the trees in the forest susurrating and feel the peace cover me. But how long will it stay with me? Likely not as long as I need it to.
Part of travel is to explore new possibilities, to ask oneself, "What if?" To explore alternate universes or timelines where we didn't live in Sri Lanka or, perhaps, I didn't work overseas. What does that universe look like? Am I fighting wildfires in the Cascades or foaming milk to perfectly-pointed frothy peaks like hilltops in Dr. Seuss books? What if I had taken that job with the Forest Service in Portland instead of the one I have now? What if we lived in a camper van down by the river?
But we can only commit to one path and must have faith that universe is the one we belong in.
We may all be suffering from a mild case of the summer blues. Knowing the kids will start school online doesn't help. But Clementine is getting two new molars which at least explains the stomach aches. Fortunately, we didn't figure this out until we had already signed her up for horseback riding lessons.
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